- One must be a fox in order to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten off wolves. Machiavelli Niccolo
Drive a Tank
As it turns out, it's not all that difficult to rent a tank. The majority of companies that do so function as tourist attractions—it's not like Enterprise where you grab the keys and try to return it with a full tank of gas.
Generally speaking, each company offers packages with different aspects: shooting guns, crushing cars, even slam through a mobile home. It's important to note that U.S. regulations generally require the "de-milling" of a tank's cannon, so there's no firing of the awesome big gun. But hey, you can still crush cars.
And if after renting a tank you decide you really need one of these monsters in your life, you can could always go and buy one instead.
Ox Hunting Ranch
Ox Hunting Ranch in Uvalde, Texas (about two hours from San Antonio) has a tank!
Tank Model: 1944 M4A2E8 Sherman
What You Can Do: The above price includes an hour of driving around as well as 100 rounds each from the tank's three different machine guns. The ranch also throws in some other non-tank related bits like free fishing, but we're all about driving tanks here.
Can You Crush a Car?: No, sadly.
Safety Classes Involved: There's at least one "training" session which most likely includes safety lessons.
Drive A Tank
Drive A Tank in Kasota, Minnesota has... a whole bunch of tanks! Like, more than two.
Tank Models: FV433 Abbott SPG, FV432 APC, Russian T-55 MBT, Chieftain MBT, and Sherman E8
Price: $399 to $3,599
What You Can Do: Drive A Tank is possibly the best-known commercial tank experience on the market right now. Part of this is due to the sheer number of packages and vehicles available. Folks can drive around, shoot guns, crush one or two cars, and there's even a special home demolition package. The range in price also makes the experience the most bang for your buck in the United States. If you've seen videos of folks crushing cars in tanks, it's likely someone at Drive A Tank. In fact, even we've been to Drive A Tank.
Can You Crush a Car?: Oh yes. Or two, even. In fact, they'll let you drive the FV432 APC through a mobile home for $3,495.
Safety Classes Involved: Yes, to varying degrees depending on which package is chosen. The more armored vehicles being driven about, the more safety and training involved. They also give an "extensive" history of tanks.
Battlefield Vegas in (you guessed it) Las Vegas, Nevada has a tank!
Tank Model: British Chieftain Mk8 refitted to become a M1A1 Abrams replica
What You Can Do: Crush a car. That's pretty much it. But still, car crushing! Battlefield Vegas will also send a military Humvee to pick you up from the Las Vegas Strip, so that's not nothing.
Can You Crush a Car?: Yes! All they ask is 24 hours notice.
Safety Classes Involved: No, kind of surprisingly. Given that it's just crushing a car, one of the Battlefield Vegas employees advises the driver on what to do and actually sits behind them within the tank. Another employee out front then provides a visual guide for rolling over the chosen vehicle.
Irish Military War Museum
The Irish Military War Museum in Starinagh, Collon, Co. Meath (north of Dublin, Ireland) has a tank! Well, kind of.
Tank Model: FV432 armored personnel carrier (APC)
Price: €99 (about $150)
What You Can Do: Learn to drive around. Compared to other options, this is both surprisingly cheap but also the least exciting. Some folks might not consider the APC to be a real tank, but we're counting it in our book. They do give drivers a little dog tag as a memento of their drive. There's also the fact that it's in Ireland, so it might be a hassle to reach for some folks.
Can You Crush a Car?: No such luck.
Safety Classes Involved: Given that these are billed as "lessons," there's almost certainly a safety aspect involved.
Tank Town USA
Tank Town USA in Morganton, Georgia has at least one tank!
Tank Models: Unclear, though appears to be several different APC models.
Price: $75/10 minutes, which sounds cheap but can get expensive fast as each additional 10 minutes is another $65.
What You Can Do: There's the riding around for 10 minutes (or half a mile, whichever comes first), which is fine and dandy given that there's seemingly a little course with bumps and so on to navigate.
Can You Crush a Car?: Yes, and for $499 it seems to be the cheapest car crush available in North America. Value!
Safety Classes Involved: Yup.