- The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. Mahatma Gandhi
Create a Mancave
It can be a place of growth and productivity
Your man cave doesn’t just have to be a couch with a big screen, or a storage room for the kitschy stuff your wife can’t stand (not that there’s anything wrong with that)—it can also be a place to improve yourself—to learn, create, and explore new hobbies. If you want to try out some messy hobbies, pull up the carpet and make yourself a workshop. Write the great American novel—or just read a few. Having a quiet, dedicated space to create can make it much easier to do things that usually get put off.
Man caves are all about identity
In the daily grind of chores and schedules, it can be easy to lose sight of who you are and what you’re working for—and no one wants a husband or father on autopilot. Your man cave is a way to remind yourself of who you are, purely as a man, with passions and tastes of your own. It might not sound like a big deal, but the work of being a husband and dad takes a strong sense of identity and purpose, and a man cave is one small way to keep yourself fully present.
Occasional solitude keeps a man centered and sane
If used properly, a man cave can make you more patient, more empathetic, and happier all around. When you’re frustrated, or just not very enthusiastic about what you need to get done, it’s a place to switch gears and recharge, so you can meet challenges with a fresh perspective. Locking yourself in the bathroom can buy some quiet time, but a man cave is much more than that.
By filling the room with stuff you enjoy doing, you can decompress a lot more effectively, and then get back in the fight. A man cave shouldn’t be a place to hide out from being a grown-up; if you do it right, it’ll make you a more able, engaged partner, and a better dad.
It’s a way of setting boundaries—and boundaries can be good
The great thing about having a place that is yours, off-limits to everyone else, is that you can let your family in. My dad’s man cave was a workshop he built in the backyard—and he kept it under lock and key. It was where he went to work on projects and clear his head, but every once in a while, we’d get invited to come help him with a project, or learn how to use a new power tool. It was his space—so when we got invited in, it meant a lot.
It’ll make you a more productive worker
By putting all your distractions and extracurricular obsessions in one place, you’ll have an easier time getting things done around the house when you need to. Keep your gaming consoles, your TV stand, your guitar, and your hobbies in the man cave, and you’ll be able to work when it’s time to work. Guys who learn how to focus and separate their work hours get a lot more done than guys who are never quite off the clock, and never quite on. Especially if you work from home like me, having a distinct place for work and a distinct place for relaxation makes both more enjoyable.